Mom

It's my mom's birthday! And I've got some stuff I want to say:

Mom, thanks for everything. Thanks for all the time and energy you spent on me. Thanks for being my taxi for 18 years. Thanks for always giving it to me straight. Thanks for loving Dad. Thanks for being a mom instead of just someone with money and food. Thanks for being my best friend. Thanks for watching PBS shows with me. Thanks for teaching me to love reading. Thanks for teaching me how to cook. Thanks for teaching me what kind of soap goes in the dishwasher. Thanks for teaching me how to do laundry. Thanks for loving to travel. Thanks for teaching me honesty. Thanks for teaching me modesty. Thanks for letting us have dogs even though they're a pain. Thanks for letting us have a cat so we could see how much better they are than dogs. Thanks for teaching me to have plan b's. Thanks for not making me shave my head when I got lice. Thanks for trying my whole life at home to teach me to be clean and organized. I know you never thought I'd figure it out, but I finally have! ... can you come down and teach everyone else now please? Thanks for wanting me to have parties and then not making me have any more after that one time. Thanks for telling me I need to "step it up" with my flirting exertions- you're right haha. Thanks for wanting me to have cute clothes. Thanks for conning me into getting rid of all my old high school t-shirts. Thanks for encouraging me to move on when I messed up. Thanks for liking to paint pottery with me. Thanks for telling me not to panic and that I still have time to figure out what to do with my life. Thanks for taking me to get my hair fixed after I tried to cut my own bangs. Thanks for not calling them "little house on the prairie bangs" like the hair stylist did. Thanks for always wanting to fight anyone that's ever hurt me. Thanks for teaching me to be tough. Thanks for letting me be silly sometimes.

Mom, sorry for everything. Sorry that I rejected all of the clothes that you suggested in middle school without even looking at them. Sorry that my room was never clean after the day that you had me clean it. Sorry that I always tried to get out of doing dishes. Sorry that I didn't clean the litter box every week like I was supposed to. Sorry that I stopped growing in the 6th grade and you lost the bet with dad. Sorry that I said the other day that there was no way I was going to get married the same day as you and dad 'cause you got married in freaking January; it's actually kinda growing on me now. Sorry that I broke Great Grandma's vase that one time in Kentucky. Sorry that I always figured out the passwords that you put on the TV. Sorry that I thought you were completely insane when you said you liked to clean. Sorry that I said your shoes looked like a witch's shoes. Sorry that I steal your socks and slips. Sorry that I can't spend as much time in a museum as you can. Sorry that we'll never figure out how to make Grandma's bread like she does. Sorry that I didn't say all this stuff a long time ago.

Sorry that you couldn't be everyone's mom.

Thanks for being mine.