8 Reasons Why Cows Are My Favorite

1. They're black and white, as is everything that is sophisticated and classy.

2. They make funny noises.

3. They're funnily shaped.

4. They appreciate jazz music.

5. They have excellent dance moves.

6. From cows we get cheese. And ice cream. And hamburgers (sorry, cows!).

7. You CANNOT tip cows. It's a myth. But I didn't use to know that and I wanted to tip a cow really REALLY badly.

8. Cows and people often exhibit strange similarities.

• For example, tonight I helped set up the ward opening social. All of the people were scattered across the yard, but when we start putting out the food, all of a sudden everyone started converging into one giant mass, staring at the food and pawing at the ground, waiting for us to step away so that they could bury their faces in the trough. And there was groaning.
• Cows have more than one stomach. And while many of you might be under the impression that humans do not have more than a single stomach, my friend, W-----, assures me that we do. Our second stomach is called the "desert stomach," and it explains why after we've eaten three days worth of turkey and stuffing on thanksgiving and don't think we could possibly eat another bite, we're suddenly hungry again when the pie is brought out.
• Cows have herds. People totally have herds too.
• British cows/ people are automatically cooler than cows/ people from other places.

This is a shaggy British cow! See! Automatically cooler.