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Hi! I'm Arianne. I'm a technical writer by day, painter/baker/short-story writer by night. Oh, and I love cats.
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Sunday, July 15, 2012

"I made the match, you know.... and to have it take place, and be proved in the right... may comfort me for any thing" -Jane Austen, Emma

Well, guys, it's been a while.  And by a while, I mean a little over 5 months.  I admit, it's kind of a big gap.  Here's the thing - I don't like to post about super serious or personal things on this blog.  And for the past 5 months a lot of my attention was devoted to pretty serious and personal things and thoughts.  And the attention that I had left over was too tired out to put up anything on here.  I wrote a lot of drafts, actually.  I think a lot of people would be surprised by just how much I filter this blog.  But, anyway, I digress.

It's been a while.  So, before I get on with the topic of this post, let me tell you what's been going on with me for the past 5 months.

No, there's too much.  Let me sum up.

1. I finished my 6th semester at BYU.  (And then I realized that that makes me a senior.  And then I started freaking out A LOT.)

2. I took a leave of absence from the Creamery. (Can you take a "leave of absence" from a restaurant/grocery store? I can't say that I quit... I'm going right back there in the fall. (*Gasp* Arianne without the creamery?  Who even is she anymore without ice cream up her arms and nightmares about EFY rushes?))

3. I got a job at Aspen Grove! (Hence the leave of absence from the Creamery. (Ironically, my job up here is to work in the store.  I sell t-shirts and I scoop BYU ice cream.  I CAN'T GET AWAY.))

4. My younger brother, my only sibling, left to serve a mission.  (I'm really proud of him, but it's kind of bittersweet, ya know? (Plus, I have a feeling that a lot of the attention that was spent on helping him get to that point in his life is suddenly going to shift to me and getting me to my next point in life.  Which means that I am gearing up for an increase in dating advice/ pressure/ speculation from my parents and other various friends and family.))

Those are probably the biggest things that are worth sharing with the internet.

Now, onto your irregularly scheduled dose of my ponderings, speculations, and slightly ridiculous circumstances.

I realized the other day that I perhaps have a rather bad habit.  And that habit is MATCHMAKING.

I don't know why, but I enjoy other people's love lives a lot better than my own.  (Okay, I do know why.  Other people's love lives are lot less scary, stressful, and confusing.)  I love to help my friends find love.  And I love being right about who they fall for.

When I read Jane Austen's Emma (and then watched the 1996 and 2009 film adaptations, as well as the "Clueless" version), it felt a little bit like looking into a mirror - only the reflection wasn't necessarily of my outward appearance, but rather of my approach towards life.


I've come to realize, as Emma did, that matchmaking sometimes has unfavorable consequences.  Sometimes one of your friends gets rejected and then you feel super guilty.  Sometimes your two friends do hit it off, but then something goes wrong and they break up and then you feel guilty and like you have to pick a side.  Sometimes, your friends never break up and they live happily ever after and they forget all about little old you.  (Ok, so that one hasn't happened to me yet, but, honestly, what else should I expect when setting people up?)

Still, being aware of all of these consequences hasn't resulted in my stopping my matchmaking tendencies.  I think perhaps I've pulled back a bit.  I'm a little more cautious.  But I still end up doling out inordinate amounts of romantic advice to people. 

By the way, why the heck do you guys ask me/ listen to me?  I know I don't actually advertise this, but maybe it's time I did.  I have never had a boyfriend.  Unless you count elementary school ones.   I have almost zero experience of my own with guys.  I am completely clueless when it comes to that stuff.    And if you don't believe me, I would like to share this with you as well: There was once a guy who I went on like five dates with.  He also would randomly stop by my place all the time "just to say hi".  It wasn't until a whole year later when I woke up one day and thought, "Oh... I think he might have liked me.  Whoops".  But I digress.  Again.

I had a mini-panic attack today.  I've been teasing one of my friends about a mutual friend of ours for quite a long time (at least two years).  I really am convinced that they could be great together.  However, he's never really seemed to take it to heart and I figured that it would never be anything other than an inside joke between he and I.  (Or is it him and I?  I know I'm an English major, but I never get this one right.  Oh well.  Grammar Nazis, please spare me.)  So, the other day we were chatting, and I brought it up again.  And he laughed it off, again.  And I figured, same old, same old, right?  Wrong.  The next couple of messages I got from him over the course of the week were about her, and he definitely sounded like he was actually considering it this time.  My feelings on these developments were the oddest combination of elation, pride, and absolute horror.  Elation because, hey, they would be the cutest thing EVER.  Pride, because I was right!  And horror, because why now?  What if he only liked her because I had finally told him enough times that he should?  What if this was all because I felt like messing around with his love life instead of mine?  

OK, so, maybe the idea that I had caused this was pretty big-headed of me.  I don't think I'm actually that persuasive.  But I was pretty worried for a little bit that maybe people listened to the crap I spouted off more than I thought they did.

Luckily, they don't.  He kindly assured me that he had actually been thinking about this for a while.  My teasing had just gotten him to finally admit it to someone.  So you know, all's well that ends well I guess.  And some day when they're married with enough children to form their own debate team, they'll thank me for my meddling.

(And if my friend is reading this, I hope he is laughing and not freaking out.  I was really careful to not include any identifying factors in this tale.  So, it's still just me and you that know, buddy.)

But, I think this whole thing made me sort of turn a corner in my life.  I think I've finally reached the point where the stress levels of my own romantic expedtitions might be about the same as my interventions into the lives of my friends.

... And if the stress is the same, I might as well be a little more selfish with my energy, right?