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Hi! I'm Arianne. I'm a technical writer by day, painter/baker/short-story writer by night. Oh, and I love cats.
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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Can I Just Be Old Already?

This last Friday I called my dad for a chat. When he asked me about what I had been up to, I told him the truth: school, homework, work, more homework, with some food and sleep mixed in. Then I asked him what he had been up to that day. His response was something along these lines:

"Well, today your mother and I went to boulder city and had breakfast. Then we went geocaching for a while. Then we got some lunch. Then we went to a car show. Then we went to Tony Roma's for dinner and we both had ribs. Now we're watching an episode of Inspector Barnaby."

It was one of these moments:

I'm sorry, I thought young people were supposed to have all the fun? Isn't that what old people are always telling me? Enjoy my youth while it lasts because with old age comes more stress or something? I'm not buying it. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of conspiracy going on here. All of the people ages 40 and up are spinning these terrible tales of adulthood to us young folk, while really it's full of delicious barbecued meat, field trips, and British murder mystery shows. Plus, there's a whole lot of other advantages to being old:

  • You can wear whatever you want and it's ok. Because you're old.


  • If you're nice, everyone likes you. If you're mean, a lot of people still like you because they think it's cute that you're mean and old at the same time.

  • Old people can go to bed really early and no one thinks they're weird.
  • Old people can stomach weird foods like rice pudding and yams.
  • Old people can say really offensive things and people don't get mad because they figure the generation gap is at fault for the rudeness.
  • Old people can get out of pretty much anything they don't want to do by simply saying, "Oh, I'm too old for that."

    Basically, that whole "I'm old and I can never have fun like young people again" thing? It's an act. It's just this facade that's been put up so young people don't figure out that they're really getting the short end of the stick in life. It's like that daycare in Toy Story 3, when all the new toys get shoved in with the slobbery and evil two year olds while the evil-stuffed-pink-bear-mob-boss guy lives it up across the hall with the nice, fun kids.

    My fellow young adults, WE have been shoved in the room with the slobbery and evil two year olds. And I guess that's life. I mean, supposedly, all the old people were young at some point. So we'll get to the nice, fun room in the daycare someday, right?

    Sometimes I just want one of these:

Or I could just wait.

I'm super excited to be old someday. I'm gonna wear muumuus. I'm gonna eat ribs every Friday and I'm not gonna put on any make up ever. I'm going to shake my purse at whippersnappers and get an awesome scooter to ride around in. It's gonna be AWESOME.

P.S. Mom, Dad, and various adults in my life... sorry for calling you "old".

1 comment:

  1. bahahaha. LOVE it. "it's an act!" haha. also, i love that commercial with the old people. i'm totes doing that one day.